Hi loves! Get ready for a long post. This topic is really hitting close to home right now. Today I wanted to talk about something that I’ve been struggling with recently, which is along the lines of being true to myself and embracing my identity. Being in college has been a bumpy road and now that I just completed my sophomore year, I wanted to reflect a little bit on how college has shaped me thus far. I am a self-proclaimed grandma and prefer to sit inside and watch a movie as opposed to party all night any day. I think a large reason why I’m not attracted to the party scene in college is because of my friend group growing in high school and the type of influences that I’ve had throughout my life. I completely respect my friends who enjoy drinking and partying, but it’s just not the right thing for me. And for some reason this is such a hard topic to talk about.
While some people may have gone to parties/been exposed to alcohol quite a bit in high school, my high school was the opposute. I went to the most amazing arts high school where I was able to meet students who also had a passion for the arts. I studied both dance and creative writing at my high school; because of my rigorous arts curriculum and heavy academic schedule, I never had the time to go to parties on weeknights or even on weekends. The friends that I had were all very serious about their art form/academic life and therefore never spent any time engaging in the party scene.
Upon coming to college, I really struggled to develop a new social group, especially because for the past 6 years, I had made such deep bonds with other students at my high school. College is also a completely different playing field in terms of partying. College parties can sometimes have hundreds of people and can easily spiral out of control. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – everyone has the right to do whatever they chose, but drinking/partying is just not right for me.
What I’ve discovered in the past two years of college is that finding open, authentic individuals as friends is truly rare. I cherish the friends that I have, whether they be close friends or people I don’t see very often. My parents are my very best friends and they remind me on a daily basis how important it is for me to stay true to myself. Although I sometimes feel pressure to go to a party for the sake of exploring outside my comfort zone, I just choose not to. In college especially, there is so much pressure to do what everyone else is doing. And if you’re not going out, you’re seen as a loner or as anti-social, two very inaccurate descriptors of who I am as a person.
Basically I felt the need to write a post about authenticity because this blog is all about my journey during my college years and beyond. I also find that the more I write about something that’s bothering me, the better I am at understanding what I’m going through. Writing about my feelings is so, so good for my soul. Hopefully journalism remains a future career prospect. 😉 Anyway, I hope that for some of you who are struggling with a similar issue that this post brought you some insight. I am always looking to meet others who share a passion for developing relationships outside of an environment that involves alcohol and partying.